Frustration

The things that I can't have I want

And what I have seems second-rate,

The things I want to do I can't

And what I have to do I hate,

The things I want at once come late,

I am not feeling gay nor gleg,

I'm really in an awful state,

My life is like a scrambled egg.

If I should order elephant

They'd put camel on my plate,

If I should seek a wealthy aunt

A poor old uncle'd be my fate,

If I should say, "You amputate

My foot, and bring me a wooden peg,"

They'd probably cut off my pate;

My life is like a scrambled egg.

The things I want most of are scant

The girls I really love won't mate,

The times when rage would make me rant

My larynx won't articulate;

Should I arrange some morn at eight

To bear my brains out with my leg

I'd probably forget the date;

My life is like a scrambled egg.

The simplest matters won't come straight,

For once I wood a maid named Meg

And very nearly married Kate;

My life is like a scrambled egg.