The amphisbaena

'In the back back garden, Thomasina

Did you recently vociferate a squeal?'

'Oh, I trod up an amphisbaena,

And it bit me on the toe and on the heel.

Yes, it bit me (do you know)

With its tail upon the toe,

While it bit me with its head upon the heel!'

'How excessively distracting and confusing.

Pray what, Thomasina, did you do?'

'Oh, I took the garden scissors I was using

And I snipped it irretrievably in two.

And it split with such a scrunch

That I shall not want my lunch.

And if you had heard the noise no more would you.'

'And where, Thomasina, are the sections

Of the foe that you courageously repressed?'

'Oh, they ran away in opposite directions,

And they vanished in the east and in the west.

And the way they made me squint,

It would melt a heart of flint,

And I think that I will go upstairs and rest.'