To drown my troubles

Oh! misery!

I have often wanted to drown my troubles,

but I can't get my wife to go swimming.

To drown my sorrows... Misery!

We've uncovered some embarrassing ancestors

in the not-too-distant past.

Some horse thieves, and some people killed on Saturday nights.

One of my relatives, unfortunately,

was even in the newspaper business.

O! misery!

I have looked on a lot of women with lust in my heart.

I've committed adultery in my heart many times....

I have often wanted to drown my troubles,

but I can't get my wife to go swimming.

Adultery! Misery!

Pardon me!