The Sorcerer
Sullivan, Arthur
Responsief blok lib/tran/syn
The Sorcerer Libretto
SYSTEMTHE SORCERER
Libretto by William S.Gilbert
Music by Sir Arthur Sullivan
SYSTEMDRAMATIS PERSONAE
Sir Marmaduke Pointdextre, an Elderly Baronet
Alexis, of the Grenadier Guards—His Son
Dr.Daly, Vicar of Ploverleigh
John Wellington Wells, of J.W.Wells & Co, Family Sorcerers
Lady Sangazure, a Lady of Ancient Lineage
Aline, Her Daughter—betrothed to Alexis
Mrs. Partlet, a Pew-Opener
Constance, her Daughter
Chorus of Villagers
SYSTEMACT I—Grounds of Sir Marmaduke's Mansion, Mid-day
Twelve hours are supposed to elapse between Acts I and II
SYSTEMACT II— Grounds of Sir Marmaduke's Mansion, Midnight
SYSTEMACT I.
SYSTEMSCENE—Exterior of Sir Marmaduke's Elizabethan Mansion, mid-day.
CHORUS OF VILLAGERSRing forth, ye bells,
CHORUS OF VILLAGERSWith clarion sound—
CHORUS OF VILLAGERSForget your knells,
CHORUS OF VILLAGERSFor joys abound.
CHORUS OF VILLAGERSForget your notes
CHORUS OF VILLAGERSOf mournful lay,
CHORUS OF VILLAGERSAnd from your throats
CHORUS OF VILLAGERSPour joy to-day.
CHORUS OF VILLAGERSFor to-day young Alexis—young Alexis Pointdextre
CHORUS OF VILLAGERSIs betrothed to Aline—to Aline Sangazure,
CHORUS OF VILLAGERSAnd that pride of his sex is—of his sex is to be next her
CHORUS OF VILLAGERSAt the feast on the green—on the green, oh, be sure!
CHORUS OF VILLAGERSRing forth, ye bells etc.
(Exeunt the men
CHORUS OF VILLAGERSinto house)
(Enter Mrs.
CHORUS OF VILLAGERSPartlet with Constance, her daughter)
PConstance, my daughter, why this strange depression?
PThe village rings with seasonable joy,
PBecause the young and amiable Alexis,
PHeir to the great Sir Marmaduke Pointdextre,
PIs plighted to Aline, the only daughter
POf Annabella, Lady Sangazure.
PYou, you alone are sad and out of spirits;
PWhat is the reason? Speak, my daughter, speak!
CONST.Oh, mother, do not ask! If my complexion
CONST.From red to white should change in quick succession,
CONST.And then from white to red, oh, take no notice!
CONST.If my poor limbs should tremble with emotion,
CONST.Pay no attention, mother—it is nothing!
If long and deep-drawn sighs I chance to utter,
CONST.Oh, heed them not, their cause must ne'er be known!
CONST.Mrs.
Partlet motions to Chorus to leave her with Constance.
Exeunt
CONST.ladies of Chorus.
CONSTANCEWhen he is here,
I sigh with pleasure—
CONSTANCEWhen he is gone,
I sigh with grief.
CONSTANCEMy hopeless fear
CONSTANCENo soul can measure—
CONSTANCEHis love alone
CONSTANCECan give my aching heart relief!
CONSTANCEWhen he is cold,
I weep for sorrow—
CONSTANCEWhen he is kind,
I weep for joy.
CONSTANCEMy grief untold
CONSTANCEKnows no to-morrow—
CONSTANCEMy woe can find
CONSTANCENo hope, no solace, no alloy!
PCome, tell me all about it! Do not fear—
PI, too, have loved; but that was long ago!
PWho is the object of your young affections?
CONST.Hush, mother! He is here! (Looking off)
Enter Dr.
DR. DALYHe is pensive and does not see them
P(amazed) Our reverend vicar!
CONST.Oh, pity me, my heart is almost broken!
PMy child, be comforted.
PTo such an union
PI shall not offer any opposition.
PTake him—he's yours! May you and he be happy!
CONST.But, mother dear, he is not yours to give!
PThat's true, indeed!
CONST.He might object!
PHe might.
PBut come—take heart—I'll probe him on the subject.
Be comforted—leave this affair to me.
P(They
Pwithdraw)
DR. DALYThe air is charged with amatory numbers—
DR. DALYSoft madrigals, and dreamy lovers' lays.
DR. DALYPeace, peace, old heart! Why waken from its slumbers
DR. DALYThe aching memory of the old, old days?
ALLTime was when Love and I were well acquainted.
ALLTime was when we walked ever hand in hand.
ALLA saintly youth, with worldly thought untainted,
ALLNone better-loved than I in all the land!
ALLTime was, when maidens of the noblest station,
ALLForsaking even military men,
ALLWould gaze upon me, rapt in adoration—
ALLAh me, I was a fair young curate then!
ALLHad I a headache? sighed the maids assembled;
ALLHad I a cold? welled forth the silent tear;
ALLDid I look pale? then half a parish trembled;
ALLAnd when I coughed all thought the end was near!
ALLI had no care—no jealous doubts hung o'er me—
ALLFor I was loved beyond all other men.
ALLFled gilded dukes and belted earls before me—
ALLAh me, I was a pale young curate them!
ALL(At the conclusion of the ballad, Mrs.
ALLPartlet comes forward with
ALLConstance)
PGood day, reverend sir.
DAh, good Mrs.
DPartlet, I am glad to see you.
DAnd
Dyour little daughter, Constance! Why, she is quite a little
Dwoman, I declare!
CONST.(aside) Oh, mother, I cannot speak to him!
PYes, reverend sir, she is nearly eighteen, and as
Pgood a girl as ever stepped.
(Aside to Dr.
PDaly) Ah, sir, I'm
Pafraid I shall soon lose her!
(aside to Mrs.
DPartlet) Dear me, you pain me very
Dmuch.
DIs she delicate?
POh no, sir—I don't mean that—but young girls look
Pto get married.
DOh, I take you.
DTo be sure.
DBut there's plenty of
Dtime for that.
DFour or five years hence, Mrs.
DPartlet, four or
Dfive years hence.
DBut when the time does come, I shall have much
Dpleasure in marrying her myself—
CONST.(aside) Oh, mother!
DTo some strapping young fellow in her own rank of
Dlife.
CONST.(in tears) He does not love me!
PI have often wondered, reverend sir (if you'll
Pexcuse the liberty), that you have never married.
D(aside) Be still, my fluttering heart!
PA clergyman's wife does so much good in a village.
Pbesides that, you are not as young as you were, and before very
Plong you will want somebody to nurse you, and look after your
Plittle comforts.
DMrs.
DPartlet, there is much truth in what you say.
DI am indeed getting on in years, and a helpmate would cheer my
Ddeclining days.
DTime was when it might have been; but I have
Dleft it too long—I am an old fogy, now, am I not, my dear? (to
DConstance)—a very old fogy, indeed.
DHa! ha! No, Mrs.
DPartlet,
Dmy mind is quite made up.
DI shall live and die a solitary old
Dbachelor.
CONST.Oh, mother, mother! (Sobs on Mrs.
CONST.Partlet's bosom)
PCome, come, dear one, don't fret.
PAt a more
Pfitting time we will try again—we will try again.
(Exeunt Mrs.
PPartlet and
PConstance)
D(looking after them) Poor little girl! I'm afraid
Dshe has something on her mind.
DShe is rather comely.
DTime was
Dwhen this old heart would have throbbed in double-time at the
Dsight of such a fairy form! But tush! I am puling! Here comes
Dthe young Alexis with his proud and happy father.
DLet me dry
Dthis tell-tale tear!
Enter Sir Marmaduke and Alexis
DSir Marmaduke—my dear young friend, Alexis—
DOn this most happy, most auspicious plighting—
DPermit me as a true old friend to tender
DMy best, my very best congratulations!
SIR MARMADUKESir, you are most obleeging!
ALEX.Dr.
DR. DALYMy dear old tutor, and my valued pastor,
DR. DALYI thank you from the bottom of my heart!
DR. DALY(Spoken
DR. DALYthrough music)
DMay fortune bless you! may the middle distance
DOf your young life be pleasant as the foreground—
DThe joyous foreground! and, when you have reached it,
DMay that which now is the far-off horizon
D(But which will then become the middle distance),
DIn fruitful promise be exceeded only
DBy that which will have opened, in the meantime,
DInto a new and glorious horizon!
SIR MARMADUKEDear Sir, that is an excellent example
SIR MARMADUKEOf an old school of stately compliment
SIR MARMADUKETo which I have, through life, been much addicted.
SIR MARMADUKEWill you obleege me with a copy of it,
SIR MARMADUKEIn clerkly manuscript, that I myself
SIR MARMADUKEMay use it on appropriate occasions?
DSir, you shall have a fairly-written copy
DEre Sol has sunk into his western slumbers!
(Exit
DDr.
DDaly)
SIR MARMADUKE(to Alexis, who is in a reverie) Come, come, my
SIR MARMADUKEson—your fiancee will be here in five minutes.
SIR MARMADUKERouse yourself
SIR MARMADUKEto receive her.
SIR MARMADUKEALEXIS Oh rapture!
SIR MARMADUKEYes, you are a fortunate young fellow, and I will
SIR MARMADUKEnot disguise from you that this union with the House of Sangazure
SIR MARMADUKErealizes my fondest wishes.
SIR MARMADUKEAline is rich, and she comes of a
SIR MARMADUKEsufficiently old family, for she is the seven thousand and
SIR MARMADUKEthirty-seventh in direct descent from Helen of Troy.
SIR MARMADUKETrue, there
SIR MARMADUKEwas a blot on the escutcheon of that lady—that affair with
SIR MARMADUKEParis—but where is the family, other than my own, in which there
SIR MARMADUKEis no flaw? You are a lucky fellow, sir—a very lucky fellow!
SIR MARMADUKEALEXIS Father, I am welling over with limpid joy! No
SIR MARMADUKEsicklying taint of sorrow overlies the lucid lake of liquid love,
SIR MARMADUKEupon which, hand in hand, Aline and I are to float into eternity!
SIR MARMADUKEAlexis, I desire that of your love for this young
SIR MARMADUKElady you do not speak so openly.
SIR MARMADUKEYou are always singing ballads
SIR MARMADUKEin praise of her beauty, and you expect the very menials who wait
SIR MARMADUKEbehind your chair to chorus your ecstasies.
SIR MARMADUKEIt is not delicate.
SIR MARMADUKEALEXIS Father, a man who loves as I love—
SIR MARMADUKEPooh pooh, sir! fifty years ago I madly loved your
SIR MARMADUKEfuture mother-in-law, the Lady Sangazure, and I have reason to
SIR MARMADUKEbelieve that she returned my love.
SIR MARMADUKEBut were we guilty of the
SIR MARMADUKEindelicacy of publicly rushing into each other's arms,
SIR MARMADUKEexclaiming—
SIR MARMADUKE"Oh, my adored one!" "Beloved boy!"
SIR MARMADUKE"Ecstatic rapture!" "Unmingled joy!"
SIR MARMADUKEwhich seems to be the modern fashion of love-making? No! it was
SIR MARMADUKE"Madam, I trust you are in the enjoyment of good health"—"Sir,
SIR MARMADUKEyou are vastly polite, I protest I am mighty well"—and so forth.
SIR MARMADUKEMuch more delicate—much more respectful.
SIR MARMADUKEBut see—Aline
approaches—let us retire, that she may compose herself for the
SIR MARMADUKEinteresting ceremony in which she is to play so important a part.
(Exeunt Sir Marmaduke and
SIR MARMADUKEAlexis)
Enter Aline on terrace, preceded by Chorus of Girls
CHORUS OF GIRLSWith heart and with voice
CHORUS OF GIRLSLet us welcome this mating:
CHORUS OF GIRLSTo the youth of her choice,
CHORUS OF GIRLSWith a heart palpitating,
CHORUS OF GIRLSComes the lovely Aline!
CHORUS OF GIRLSMay their love never cloy!
CHORUS OF GIRLSMay their bliss me unbounded!
CHORUS OF GIRLSWith a halo of joy
CHORUS OF GIRLSMay their lives be surrounded!
CHORUS OF GIRLSHeaven bless our Aline!
ALINEMy kindly friends, I thank you for this greeting
ALINEAnd as you wish me every earthly joy,
ALINEI trust your wishes may have quick fulfillment!
ALINEOh, happy young heart!
ALINEComes thy young lord a-wooing
ALINEWith joy in his eyes,
ALINEAnd pride in his breast—
ALINEMake much of thy prize,
ALINEFor he is the best
ALINEThat ever came a-suing.
ALINEYet—yet we must part,
ALINEYoung heart!
ALINEYet—yet we must part!
ALINEOh, merry young heart,
ALINEBright are the days of thy wooing!
ALINEBut happier far
ALINEThe days untried—
ALINENo sorrow can mar,
ALINEWhen love has tied
ALINEThe knot there's no undoing.
ALINEThen, never to part,
ALINEYoung heart!
ALINEThen, never to part!
Enter Lady Sangazure
RECITATIVE—LADY SMy child, I join in these congratulations:
RECITATIVE—LADY SHeed not the tear that dims this aged eye!
RECITATIVE—LADY SOld memories crowd upon me.
RECITATIVE—LADY SThough I sorrow,
RECITATIVE—LADY S'Tis for myself, Aline, and not for thee!
Enter Alexis, preceded by Chorus of Men
CHORUS OF MEN AND WOMENWith heart and with voice
CHORUS OF MEN AND WOMENLet us welcome this mating;
CHORUS OF MEN AND WOMENTo the maid of his choice,
CHORUS OF MEN AND WOMENWith a heart palpitating,
CHORUS OF MEN AND WOMENComes Alexis, the brave!.
(Sir Marmaduke enters.
CHORUS OF MEN AND WOMENLady Sangazure and he exhibit signs of
CHORUS OF MEN AND WOMENstrong
CHORUS OF MEN AND WOMENemotion at the sight of each other which they endeavor to
CHORUS OF MEN AND WOMENrepress.
CHORUS OF MEN AND WOMENAlexis and Aline rush into each other's arms)
RECITATIVEALEXIS Oh, my adored one!
RECITATIVEALINE Beloved boy!
RECITATIVEALEXIS Ecstatic rapture!
RECITATIVEALINE Unmingled joy!
RECITATIVE(They
RECITATIVEretire up)
RECITATIVEDUET—SIR MARMADUKE and LADY SANGAZURE
with stately courtesy
SIR MARMADUKEWelcome joy, adieu to sadness!
SIR MARMADUKEAs Aurora gilds the day,
SIR MARMADUKESo those eyes, twin orbs of gladness,
SIR MARMADUKEChase the clouds of care away.
SIR MARMADUKEIrresistible incentive
SIR MARMADUKEBids me humbly kiss your hand;
SIR MARMADUKEI'm your service most attentive—
SIR MARMADUKEMost attentive to command!
Aside with frantic vehemence
SIR MARMADUKEWild with adoration!
SIR MARMADUKEMad with fascination!
SIR MARMADUKETo indulge my lamentation
SIR MARMADUKENo occasion do I miss!
SIR MARMADUKEGoaded to distraction
SIR MARMADUKEBy maddening inaction,
SYSTEMI find some satisfaction
SIR MARMADUKEIn apostophe like this:
SIR MARMADUKE"Sangazure immortal,
SIR MARMADUKE"Sangazure divine,
SIR MARMADUKE"Welcome to my portal,
SIR MARMADUKE"Angel, oh be mine!"
Aloud with much ceremony
SIR MARMADUKEIrresistible incentive
SIR MARMADUKEBids me humbly kiss your hand;
SIR MARMADUKEI'm your servant most attentive—
SIR MARMADUKEMost attentive to command!
LADY S.Sir, I thank you most politely
LADY S.For your grateful courtesee;
LADY S.Compliment more true and knightly
LADY S.Never yet was paid to me!
LADY S.Chivalry is an ingredient
LADY S.Sadly lacking in our land—
LADY S.Sir, I am your most obedient,
LADY S.Most obedient to command!
Aside and with great vehemence
LADY S.Wild with adoration!
LADY S.Mad with fascination!
LADY S.To indulge my lamentation
LADY S.No occasion do I miss!
LADY S.Goaded to distraction
LADY S.By maddening inaction,
SYSTEMI find some satisfaction
LADY S.In apostophe like this:
LADY S."Marmaduke immortal,
LADY S."Marmaduke divine,
LADY S."Take me to thy portal,
LADY S."Loved one, oh be mine!"
Aloud with much ceremony
LADY S.Chivalry is an ingredient
LADY S.Sadly lacking in our land;
LADY S.Sir, I am your most obedient,
LADY S.Most obedient to command!
During this the Notary has entered, with marriage contract
NOTARYAll is prepared for sealing and for signing,
NOTARYThe contract has been drafted as agreed;
NOTARYApproach the table, oh, ye lovers pining,
NOTARYWith hand and seal come execute the deed!
NOTARY(Alexis and Aline advance and sign, Alexis supported by Sir
NOTARYMarmaduke,
NOTARYAline by her Mother)
CHORUSSee they sign, without a quiver, it—
CHORUSThen to seal proceed.
CHORUSThey deliver it—they deliver it
CHORUSAs their Act and Deed!
ALEX.I deliver it—I deliver it
ALEX.As my Act and Deed!.
ALINEI deliver it—I deliver it.
ALINEAs my Act and Deed!
CHO.With heart and with voice
CHO.Let us welcome this mating;
Leave them here to rejoice,
CHO.With true love palpitating,
CHO.Alexis the brave,
CHO.And the lovely Aline!
(Exeunt all but Alexis
CHO.and Aline)
CHO.ALEXIS At last we are alone! My darling, you are now
CHO.irrevocably betrothed to me.
CHO.Are you not very, very happy?
CHO.ALINE Oh, Alexis, can you doubt it? Do I not love you
CHO.beyond all on earth, and am I not beloved in return? Is not true
CHO.love, faithfully given and faithfully returned, the source of
CHO.every earthly joy?
CHO.ALEXIS Of that there can be no doubt.
CHO.Oh, that the world
CHO.could be persuaded of the truth of that maxim! Oh, that the
CHO.world would break down the artificial barriers of rank, wealth,
CHO.education, age, beauty, habits, taste, and temper, and recognize
CHO.the glorious principle, that in marriage alone is to be found the
CHO.panacea for every ill!
CHO.ALINE Continue to preach that sweet doctrine, and you will
CHO.succeed, oh, evangel of true happiness!
CHO.ALEXIS I hope so, but as yet the cause progresses but
CHO.slowly.
CHO.Still I have made some converts to the principle, that
CHO.men and women should be coupled in matrimony without distinction
CHO.of rank.
CHO.I have lectured on the subject at Mechanics'
CHO.Institutes, and the mechanics were unanimous in favour of my
CHO.views.
CHO.I have preached in workhouses, beershops, and Lunatic
CHO.Asylums, and I have been received with enthusiasm.
CHO.I have
CHO.addressed navvies on the advantages that would accrue to them if
CHO.they married wealthy ladies of rank, and not a navvy dissented!
CHO.ALINE Noble fellows! And yet there are those who hold that
CHO.the uneducated classes are not open to argument! And what do the
CHO.countesses say?
CHO.ALEXIS Why, at present, it can't be denied, the aristocracy
CHO.hold aloof.
CHO.ALINE Ah, the working man is the true Intelligence after
CHO.all!
CHO.ALEXIS He is a noble creature when he is quite sober.
CHO.Yes,
CHO.Aline, true happiness comes of true love, and true love should be
CHO.independent of external influences.
CHO.It should live upon itself
CHO.and by itself—in itself love should live for love alone!
ALEXISLove feeds on many kinds of food, I know,
ALEXISSome love for rank, some for duty:
ALEXISSome give their hearts away for empty show,
ALEXISAnd others for youth and beauty.
ALEXISTo love for money all the world is prone:
ALEXISSome love themselves, and live all lonely:
ALEXISGive me the love that loves for love alone—
ALEXISI love that love—I love it only!
ALEXISWhat man for any other joy can thirst,
ALEXISWhose loving wife adores him duly?
ALEXISWant, misery, and care may do their worst,
ALEXISIf loving woman loves you truly.
ALEXISA lover's thoughts are ever with his own—
ALEXISNone truly loved is ever lonely:
ALEXISGive me the love that loves for love alone—
ALEXISI love that love—I love it only!
ALEXISALINE Oh, Alexis, those are noble principles!
ALEXIS Yes, Aline, and I am going to take a desperate step
ALEXISin support of them.
ALEXISHave you ever heard of the firm of J.
WWells & Co.
W, the old-established Family Sorcerers in St.
WMary
WAxe?
WALINE I have seen their advertisement.
WALEXIS They have invented a philtre, which, if report may
Wbe believed, is simply infallible.
WI intend to distribute it
Wthrough the village, and within half an hour of my doing so there
Wwill not be an adult in the place who will not have learnt the
Wsecret of pure and lasting happiness.
WWhat do you say to that?
WALINE Well, dear, of course a filter is a very useful thing
in a house; but still I don't quite see that it is the sort of
Wthing that places its possessor on the very pinnacle of earthly
Wjoy.
WALEXIS Aline, you misunderstand me.
WI didn't say a
Wfilter—I said a philtre.
WALINE (alarmed) You don't mean a love-potion?
WALEXIS On the contrary—I do mean a love potion.
WALINE Oh, Alexis! I don't think it would be right.
Idon't indeed.
IAnd then—a real magician! Oh, it would be
Idownright wicked.
IALEXIS Aline, is it, or is it not, a laudable object to
Isteep the whole village up to its lips in love, and to couple
Ithem in matrimony without distinction of age, rank, or fortune?
IALINE Unquestionably, but—
IALEXIS Then unpleasant as it must be to have recourse to
Isupernatural aid, I must nevertheless pocket my aversion, in
Ideference to the great and good end I have in view.
Calling
IHercules.
Enter a Page from tent
IPAGE Yes, sir.
IALEXIS Is Mr.
IWells there?
IPAGE He's in the tent, sir—refreshing.
IALEXIS Ask him to be so good as to step this way.
IPAGE Yes, sir.
Exit Page
IALINE Oh, but, Alexis! A real Sorcerer! Oh, I shall be
Ifrightened to death!
IALEXIS I trust my Aline will not yield to fear while the
Istrong right arm of her Alexis is here to protect her.
IALINE It's nonsense, dear, to talk of your protecting me
Iwith your strong right arm, in face of the fact that this Family
Sorcerer could change me into a guinea-pig before you could turn
Iround.
IALEXIS He could change you into a guinea-pig, no doubt, but
Iit is most unlikely that he would take such a liberty.
IIt's a
Imost respectable firm, and I am sure he would never be guilty of
Iso untradesmanlike an act.
(Enter Mr.
IWells from tent)
IWELLS Good day, sir.
Aline much terrified
IALEXIS Good day—I believe you are a Sorcerer.
IWELLS Yes, sir, we practice Necromancy in all its branches.
IWe've a choice assortment of wishing-caps, divining-rods,
Iamulets, charms, and counter-charms.
IWe can cast you a nativity
Iat a low figure, and we have a horoscope at three-and-six that we
Ican guarantee.
IOur Abudah chests, each containing a patent Hag
Iwho comes out and prophesies disasters, with spring complete, are
Istrongly recommended.
IOur Aladdin lamps are very chaste, and our
IProphetic Tablets, foretelling everything—from a change of
Ministry down to a rise in Unified—are much enquired for.
IOur
Ipenny Curse—one of the cheapest things in the trade—is
Iconsidered infallible.
IWe have some very superior Blessings,
Itoo, but they're very little asked for.
IWe've only sold one
Isince Christmas—to a gentleman who bought it to send to his
Imother-in-law—but it turned out that he was afflicted in the
Ihead, and it's been returned on our hands.
IBut our sale of penny
ICurses, especially on Saturday nights, is tremendous.
IWe can't
turn 'em out fast enough.
WELLSOh! my name is John Wellington Wells,
WELLSI'm a dealer in magic and spells,
WELLSIn blessings and curses
WELLSAnd ever-filled purses,
WELLSIn prophecies, witches, and knells.
WELLSIf you want a proud foe to "make tracks"—
WELLSIf you'd melt a rich uncle in wax—
WELLSYou've but to look in
WELLSOn the resident Djinn,
WELLSNumber seventy, Simmery Axe!
WELLSWe've a first-class assortment of magic;
WELLSAnd for raising a posthumous shade
WELLSWith effects that are comic or tragic,
WELLSThere's no cheaper house in the trade.
WELLSLove-philtre—we've quantities of it;
WELLSAnd for knowledge if any one burns,
WELLSWe keep an extremely small prophet, a prophet
WELLSWho brings us unbounded returns:
WELLSFor he can prophesy
WELLSWith a wink of his eye,
WELLSPeep with security
WELLSInto futurity,
WELLSSum up your history,
WELLSClear up a mystery,
WELLSHumour proclivity
WELLSFor a nativity—for a nativity;
WELLSWith mirrors so magical,
WELLSTetrapods tragical,
WELLSBogies spectacular,
WELLSAnswers oracular,
WELLSFacts astronomical,
WELLSSolemn or comical,
WELLSAnd, if you want it, he
WELLSMakes a reduction on taking a quantity!
WELLSOh!
WELLSIf any one anything lacks,
WELLSHe'll find it all ready in stacks,
WELLSIf he'll only look in
WELLSOn the resident Djinn,
WELLSNumber seventy, Simmery Axe!
WELLSHe can raise you hosts
WELLSOf ghosts,
WELLSAnd that without reflectors;
WELLSAnd creepy things
WELLSWith wings,
WELLSAnd gaunt and grisly spectres.
WELLSHe can fill you crowds
WELLSOf shrouds,
WELLSAnd horrify you vastly;
WELLSHe can rack your brains
WELLSWith chains,
WELLSAnd gibberings grim and ghastly.
WELLSAnd then, if you plan it, he
WELLSChanges organity,
WELLSWith an urbanity,
WELLSFull of Satanity,
WELLSVexes humanity
WELLSWith an inanity
WELLSFatal to vanity—
WELLSDriving your foes to the verge of insanity!
WELLSBarring tautology,
WELLSIn demonology,
WELLS'Lectro-biology,
WELLSMystic nosology,
WELLSSpirit philology,
WELLSHigh-class astrology,
WELLSSuch is his knowledge, he
WELLSIsn't the man to require an apology!
WELLSOh!
WELLSMy name is John Wellington Wells,
WELLSI'm a dealer in magic and spells,
WELLSIn blessings and curses
WELLSAnd ever-filled purses,
WELLSIn prophecies, witches, and knells.
WELLSIf any one anything lacks,
WELLSHe'll find it all ready in stacks,
WELLSIf he'll only look in
WELLSOn the resident Djinn,
WELLSNumber seventy, Simmery Axe!
WELLSALEXIS I have sent for you to consult you on a very
WELLSimportant matter.
WELLSI believe you advertise a Patent Oxy-Hydrogen
WELLSLove-at-first-sight Philtre?
WELLSWELLS Sir, it is our leading article.
Producing a phial
WELLSALEXIS Now I want to know if you can confidently guarantee
WELLSit as possessing all the qualities you claim for it in your
WELLSadvertisement?
WELLSWELLS Sir, we are not in the habit of puffing our goods.
WELLSOurs is an old-established house with a large family connection,
WELLSand every assurance held out in the advertisement is fully
WELLSrealized.
Hurt
WELLSALINE (aside) Oh, Alexis, don't offend him! He'll change
WELLSus into something dreadful—I know he will!
WELLSALEXIS I am anxious from purely philanthropical motives to
WELLSdistribute this philtre, secretly, among the inhabitants of this
WELLSvillage.
WELLSI shall of course require a quantity.
WELLSHow do you sell
WELLSit?
WELLSWELLS In buying a quantity, sir, we should strongly advise
your taking it in the wood, and drawing it off as you happen to
WELLSwant it.
WELLSWe have it in four-and-a-half and nine gallon
WELLScasks—also in pipes and hogsheads for laying down, and we deduct
WELLS10 per cent from prompt cash.
WELLSALEXIS I should mention that I am a Member of the Army and
WELLSNavy Stores.
WELLSWELLS In that case we deduct 25 percent.
WELLSALEXIS Aline, the villagers will assemble to carouse in a
WELLSfew minutes.
WELLSGo and fetch the tea-pot.
WELLSALINE But, Alexis—
WELLSALEXIS My dear, you must obey me, if you please.
WELLSGo and
WELLSfetch the teapot.
WELLSALINE (going) I'm sure Dr.
WELLSDaly would disapprove of it!
Exit Aline
WELLSALEXIS And how soon does it take effect?
WELLSWELLS In twelve hours.
WELLSWhoever drinks of it loses
consciousness for that period, and on waking falls in love, as a
WELLSmatter of course, with the first lady he meets who has also
WELLStasted it, and his affection is at once returned.
WELLSOne trial will
WELLSprove the fact.
Enter Aline with large tea-pot
WELLSALEXIS Good:
WELLSthen, Mr.
WELLSWells, I shall feel obliged if you
WELLSwill at once pour as much philtre into this teapot as will
WELLSsuffice to affect the whole village.
WELLSALINE But bless me, Alexis, many of the villages are
WELLSmarried people!
WELLSWELLS Madam, this philtre is compounded on the strictest
WELLSprinciples.
WELLSOn married people it has no effect whatever.
WELLSBut
WELLSare you quite sure that you have nerve enough to carry you
WELLSthrough the fearful ordeal?
WELLSALEXIS In the good cause I fear nothing.
WELLSWELLS Very good, then, we will proceed at once to the
WELLSIncantation.
WELLSThe stage grows dark.
WELLSSprites of earth and air—
WELLSFiends of flame and fire—
WELLSDemon souls,
WELLSCome here in shoals,
WELLSThis dreaded deed inspire!
WELLSAppear, appear, appear.
MALE VOICESGood master, we are here!
WELLSNoisome hags of night—
WELLSImps of deadly shade—
WELLSPallid ghosts,
WELLSArise in hosts,
WELLSAnd lend me all your aid.
WELLSAppear, appear, appear!
FEMALE VOICESGood master, we are here!
(aside) Hark, they assemble,
ALEXISThese fiends of the night!
(aside) Oh Alexis, I tremble,
ALINESeek safety in flight!
ALINELet us fly to a far-off land,
ALINEWhere peace and plenty dwell—
Where the sigh of the silver strand
ALINEIs echoed in every shell
ALINETo the joy that land will give,
ALINEOn the wings of Love we'll fly;
ALINEIn innocence, there to live—
ALINEIn innocence there to die!
CHORUS OF SPIRITSToo late—too late
CHORUS OF SPIRITSIt may not be!
CHORUS OF SPIRITSThat happy fate
CHORUS OF SPIRITSIs not for (me/thee)!
CHORUS OF SPIRITSALEXIS, ALINE, and MR.
WToo late—too late,
WThat may not be!
WThat happy fate,
WIs not for thee!
WELLSNow shrivelled hags, with poison bags,
WELLSDischarge your loathsome loads!
WELLSSpit flame and fire, unholy choir!
WELLSBelch forth your venom, toads!
WELLSYe demons fell, with yelp and yell,
WELLSShed curses far afield—
WELLSYe fiends of night, your filthy blight
WELLSIn noisome plenty yield!
WELLSWELLS (pouring phial into tea-pot—flash)
WELLSNumber One!
WELLSCHORUS It is done!
WELLSWELLS (same business) Number Two! (flash)
WELLSCHORUS One too few!
WELLSWELLS Number Three! (flash)
WELLSCHORUS Set us free!
WELLSSet us free-our work is done
WELLSHa! ha! ha!
WELLSSet us free—our course is run!
WELLSHa! ha! ha!
ALINE AND ALEXIS (aside)
WELLSLet us fly to a far-off land,
WELLSWhere peace and plenty dwell—
Where the sigh of the silver strand
WELLSIs echoed in every shell.
CHORUS OF FIENDSHa! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha!
CHORUS OF FIENDS(Stage grows light.
CHORUS OF FIENDSMr.
CHORUS OF FIENDSWells beckons villagers.
Enter villagers
CHORUS OF FIENDSand all the dramatis personae, dancing joyously.
CHORUS OF FIENDSMrs.
CHORUS OF FIENDSPartlet and
CHORUS OF FIENDSMr.
CHORUS OF FIENDSWells then distribute tea-cups)
CHORUSNow to the banquet we press;
CHORUSNow for the eggs, the ham;
CHORUSNow for the mustard and cress,
CHORUSNow for the strawberry jam!
CHORUSNow for the tea of our host,
CHORUSNow for the rollicking bun,
CHORUSNow for the muffin and toast,
CHORUSNow for the gay Sally Lunn!
WOMENThe eggs and the ham, and the strawberry jam!
MENThe rollicking bun, and the gay Sally Lunn!
MENThe rollicking, rollicking bun!
SIR MARMADUKEBe happy all—the feast is spread before ye;
SIR MARMADUKEFear nothing, but enjoy yourselves, I pray!
SIR MARMADUKEEat, aye, and drink—be merry, I implore ye,
SIR MARMADUKEFor once let thoughtless Folly rule the day.
TEA-CUP BRINDISIEat, drink, and be gay,
TEA-CUP BRINDISIBanish all worry and sorrow,
Laugh gaily to-day,
TEA-CUP BRINDISIWeep, if you're sorry, to-morrow!
TEA-CUP BRINDISICome, pass the cup around—
TEA-CUP BRINDISII will go bail for the liquor;
TEA-CUP BRINDISIIt's strong, I'll be bound,
TEA-CUP BRINDISIFor it was brewed by the vicar!
CHORUSNone so knowing as he
CHORUSAt brewing a jorum of tea,
CHORUSHa! ha!
CHORUSA pretty stiff jorum of tea.
CHORUSTRIO—WELLS, ALINE, and ALEXIS.
aside
CHORUSSee—see—they drink—
CHORUSAll thoughts unheeding,
CHORUSThe tea-cups clink,
CHORUSThey are exceeding!
CHORUSTheir hearts will melt
CHORUSIn half-an-hour—
CHORUSThen will be felt
CHORUSThe potions power!
CHORUS(During this verse Constance has brought a small tea-pot, kettle,
CHORUScaddy, and cosy to Dr.
DR. DALYHe makes tea scientifically)
DR. DALYBRINDISI, 2nd Verse—DR.
DR. DALYDALY (with the tea-pot)
DR. DALYPain, trouble, and care,
DR. DALYMisery, heart-ache, and worry,
DR. DALYQuick, out of your lair!
DR. DALYGet you gone in a hurry!
DR. DALYToil, sorrow, and plot,
DR. DALYFly away quicker and quicker—
DR. DALYThree spoons in the pot—
DR. DALYThat is the brew of your vicar!
CHORUSNone so cunning as he
CHORUSAt brewing a jorum of tea,
CHORUSHa! ha!
CHORUSA pretty stiff jorum of tea!
ENSEMBLE—ALEXIS and ALINE (aside)
CHORUSOh love, true love—unworldly, abiding!
CHORUSSource of all pleasure—true fountain of joy,—
CHORUSOh love, true love—divinely confiding,
CHORUSExquisite treasure that knows no alloy,—
CHORUSOh love, true love, rich harvest of gladness,
CHORUSPeace-bearing tillage—great garner of bliss,—
Oh love, true love, look down on our sadness —
CHORUSDwell in this village—oh, hear us in this!
CHORUS(It becomes evident by the strange conduct of the characters that
CHORUSthe charm is working.
CHORUSAll rub their eyes, and stagger about the
CHORUSstage as if under the influence of a narcotic)
TUTTI (aside) ALEXIS, MR.
CHORUSWELLS and ALINE
CHORUSOh, marvellous illusion! A marvellous illusion!
CHORUSOh, terrible surprise! A terrible surprise
CHORUSWhat is this strange confusion Excites a strange confusion
CHORUSThat veils my aching eyes? Within their aching eyes—
CHORUSI must regain my senses, They must regain their senses,
CHORUSRestoring Reason's law, Restoring Reason's law,
CHORUSOr fearful inferences Or fearful inferences
CHORUSSociety will draw! Society will draw!
CHORUS(Those who have partaken of the philtre struggle in vain against
its effects, and, at the end of the chorus, fall insensible on
CHORUSthe stage)
SYSTEMACT II
SYSTEMScene—Exterior of Sir Marmaduke's mansion by moonlight.
END OF ACT IAll the
END OF ACT Ipeasantry are discovered asleep on the ground, as at the end of
SYSTEMAct I.
Enter Mr.
END OF ACT IWells, on tiptoe, followed by Alexis and Aline.
END OF ACT IMr.
WELLScarries a dark lantern.
WELLSTRIO—ALEXIS, ALINE, and MR.
WELLS'Tis twelve, I think,
WELLSAnd at this mystic hour
WELLSThe magic drink
WELLSShould manifest its power.
WELLSOh, slumbering forms,
WELLSHow little ye have guessed
WELLSThat fire that warms
WELLSEach apathetic breast!
ALEX.But stay, my father is not here!
ALINEAnd pray where is my mother dear?
WELLSI did not think it meet to see
WELLSA dame of lengthy pedigree,
WELLSA Baronet and K.
BA Doctor of Divinity,
BAnd that respectable Q.
CAll fast asleep, al-fresco-ly,
CAnd so I had them taken home
CAnd put to bed respectably!
CI trust my conduct meets your approbation.
ALEX.Sir, you have acted with discrimination,
ALEX.And shown more delicate appreciation
ALEX.Than we expect of persons of your station.
WELLSBut stay—they waken one by one —
WELLSThe spell has worked—the deed is done!
WELLSI would suggest that we retire
WELLSWhile Love, the Housemaid, lights her kitchen
WELLSfire!
(Exeunt Mr.
WELLSWells, Alexis and Aline, on tiptoe, as the villagers
WELLSstretch their arms, yawn, rub their eyes, and sit up)
MENWhy, where be oi, and what be oi a doin',
MENA sleepin' out, just when the dews du rise?
GIRLSWhy, that's the very way your health to ruin,
GIRLSAnd don't seem quite respectable likewise!
MEN(staring at girls) Eh, that's you!
MENOnly think o' that now!
GIRLS(coyly) What may you be at, now?
GIRLSTell me, du!
MEN(admiringly) Eh, what a nose,
MENAnd eh, what eyes, miss!
MENLips like a rose,
MENAnd cheeks likewise, miss!
GIRLS(coyly) Oi tell you true,
GIRLSWhich I've never done, sir,
GIRLSOi loike you
GIRLSAs I never loiked none, sir!
ALLEh, but oi du loike you!
MENIf you'll marry me, I'll dig for you
MENand
MENrake for you!
GIRLSIf you'll marry be, I'll scrub for you
GIRLSand bake for you!
MENIf you'll marry me, all others I'll
MENforsake for you!
ALLAll this will I du, if you marry
ALLme!
GIRLSIf you'll marry me, I'll cook for you
GIRLSand brew for you!
MENIf you'll marry me, I've guineas not
MENa
MENfew for you!
GIRLSIf you'll marry me, I'll take you in
GIRLSand
GIRLSdu for you!
ALLAll this will I du, if you'll marry
ALLme!
ALLEh, but I do loike you!
ALLCountry Dance
(At end of dance, enter Constance in tears, leading Notary, who
ALLcarries an ear-trumpet)
ALLAria—CONSTANCE
ALLDear friends, take pity on my lot,
ALLMy cup is not of nectar!
ALLI long have loved—as who would not?—
ALLOur kind and reverend rector.
ALLLong years ago my love began
ALLSo sweetly—yet so sadly—
ALLBut when I saw this plain old man,
ALLAway my old affection ran—
ALLI found I loved him madly.
ALLOh!
ALL(To Notary) You very, very plain old man,
ALLI love, I love you madly!
CHORUSYou very, very plain old man,
CHORUSShe loves, she loves you madly!
NOTARYI am a very deaf old man,
NOTARYAnd hear you very badly!
CONST.I know not why I love him so;
CONST.It is enchantment, surely!
CONST.He's dry and snuffy, deaf and slow
CONST.Ill-tempered, weak and poorly!
CONST.He's ugly, and absurdly dressed,
CONST.And sixty-seven nearly,
CONST.He's everything that I detest,
CONST.But if the truth must be confessed,
CONST.I love him very dearly!
CONST.Oh!
CONST.(To Notary) You're everything that I detest,
CONST.But still I love you dearly!
CHORUSYou've everything that girls detest,
CHORUSBut still she loves you dearly!
NOTARYI caught that line, but for the rest,
NOTARYI did not hear it clearly!
NOTARY(During this verse Aline and Alexis have entered at back
NOTARYunobserved)
ALEXISALEX Oh joy! oh joy!
ALEXISThe charm works well,
ALEXISAnd all are now united.
ALINEThe blind young boy
ALINEObeys the spell,
ALINEAnd troth they all have plighted!
ENSEMBLEAline & Alexis Constance Notary
ENSEMBLEOh joy! oh joy! Oh, bitter joy! Oh joy! oh
ENSEMBLEjoy!
ENSEMBLEThe charm works well, No words can tell No words can
ENSEMBLEtell
ENSEMBLEAnd all are now united! How my poor heart My state
ENSEMBLEof mind
ENSEMBLEThe blind young boy is blighted!
ENSEMBLEdelighted.
ENSEMBLEObeys the spell, They'll soon employ They'll soon
ENSEMBLEemploy
ENSEMBLEA marriage bell, A marriage
ENSEMBLEbell,
ENSEMBLETheir troth they all To say that we're To say
ENSEMBLEthat we're
ENSEMBLEhave plighted.
ENSEMBLEunited.
ENSEMBLETrue happiness I do confess True happiness
ENSEMBLEReigns everywhere, A sorrow rare Reigns
ENSEMBLEeverywhere
ENSEMBLEAnd dwells with both My humbled spirit And dwells
ENSEMBLEwith both
ENSEMBLEthe sexes.
ENSEMBLEvexes.
ENSEMBLEthe
ENSEMBLEsexes,
ENSEMBLEAnd all will bless And none will bless And all will
ENSEMBLEbless
ENSEMBLEThe thoughtful care Example rare Example rare
ENSEMBLEOf their beloved Of their beloved Of their
ENSEMBLEbeloved
ENSEMBLEAlexis! Alexis! Alexis!
(All, except Alexis and Aline, exeunt
ENSEMBLElovingly)
ENSEMBLEALINE How joyful they all seem in their new-found
ENSEMBLEhappiness! The whole village has paired off in the happiest
ENSEMBLEmanner.
ENSEMBLEAnd yet not a match has been made that the hollow world
ENSEMBLEwould not consider ill-advised!
ENSEMBLEALEXIS But we are wiser—far wiser—than the world.
ENSEMBLEObserve the good that will become of these ill-assorted unions.
ENSEMBLEThe miserly wife will check the reckless expenditure of her too
ENSEMBLEfrivolous consort, the wealthy husband will shower innumerable
ENSEMBLEbonnets on his penniless bride, and the young and lively spouse
ENSEMBLEwill cheer the declining days of her aged partner with comic
ENSEMBLEsongs unceasing!
ENSEMBLEALINE What a delightful prospect for him!
ENSEMBLEALEXIS But one thing remains to be done, that my happiness
ENSEMBLEmay be complete.
ENSEMBLEWe must drink the philtre ourselves, that I may
ENSEMBLEbe assured of your love for ever and ever.
ENSEMBLEALINE Oh, Alexis, do you doubt me? Is it necessary that
ENSEMBLEsuch love as ours should be secured by artificial means? Oh, no,
ENSEMBLEno, no!
ENSEMBLEALEXIS My dear Aline, time works terrible changes, and I
ENSEMBLEwant to place our love beyond the chance of change.
ENSEMBLEALINE Alexis, it is already far beyond that chance.
ENSEMBLEHave
ENSEMBLEfaith in me, for my love can never, never change!
ENSEMBLEALEXIS Then you absolutely refuse?
ENSEMBLEALINE I do.
ENSEMBLEIf you cannot trust me, you have no right to
ENSEMBLElove me—no right to be loved by me.
ENSEMBLEALEXIS Enough, Aline, I shall know how to interpret this
ENSEMBLErefusal.
ALEXISThou hast the power thy vaunted love
ALEXISTo sanctify, all doubt above,
ALEXISDespite the gathering shade:
ALEXISTo make that love of thine so sure
ALEXISThat, come what may, it must endure
ALEXISTill time itself shall fade.
ALEXISThey love is but a flower
ALEXISThat fades within the hour!
ALEXISIf such thy love, oh, shame!
ALEXISCall it by other name—
ALEXISIt is not love!
ALEXISThine is the power and thine alone,
ALEXISTo place me on so proud a throne
ALEXISThat kings might envy me!
ALEXISA priceless throne of love untold,
ALEXISMore rare than orient pearl and gold.
ALEXISBut no! Thou wouldst be free!
ALEXISSuch love is like the ray
ALEXISThat dies within the day:
ALEXISIf such thy love, oh, shame!
ALEXISCall it by other name—
ALEXISIt is not love!
Enter Dr.
D(musing) It is singular—it is very singular.
DIt
Dhas overthrown all my calculations.
DIt is distinctly opposed to
Dthe doctrine of averages.
DI cannot understand it.
DALINE Dear Dr.
DDaly, what has puzzled you?
DMy dear, this village has not hitherto been addicted
Dto marrying and giving in marriage.
DHitherto the youths of this
Dvillage have not been enterprising, and the maidens have been
Ddistinctly coy.
DJudge then of my surprise when I tell you that
Dthe whole village came to me in a body just now, and implored me
Dto join them in matrimony with as little delay as possible.
DEven
Dyour excellent father has hinted to me that before very long it
Dis not unlikely that he may also change his condition.
DALINE Oh, Alexis—do you hear that? Are you not delighted?
DALEXIS Yes, I confess that a union between your mother and
Dmy father would be a happy circumstance indeed.
D(Crossing to Dr.
DDaly) My dear sir—the news that you bring us is very
Dgratifying.
DYes—still, in my eyes, it has its melancholy side.
DThis universal marrying recalls the happy days—now, alas, gone
Dforever—when I myself might have—but tush! I am puling.
DI am
Dtoo old to marry—and yet, within the last half-hour, I have
Dgreatly yearned for companionship.
DI never remarked it before,
Dbut the young maidens of this village are very comely.
DSo
Dlikewise are the middle-aged.
DAlso the elderly.
DAll are
Dcomely—and (with a deep sigh) all are engaged!
DALINE Here comes your father.
Enter Sir Marmaduke with Mrs.
DPartlet, arm-in-arm
ALINE and ALEXIS (aside).
DMrs.
DPartlet!
SIR MARMADUKEDr.
SIR MARMADUKEDaly, give me joy.
SIR MARMADUKEAlexis, my dear boy, you
SIR MARMADUKEwill, I am sure, be pleased to hear that my declining days are
SIR MARMADUKEnot unlikely to be solaced by the companionship of this good,
SIR MARMADUKEvirtuous, and amiable woman.
SIR MARMADUKEALEXIS (rather taken aback) My dear father, this is not
SIR MARMADUKEaltogether what I expected.
SIR MARMADUKEI am certainly taken somewhat by
SIR MARMADUKEsurprise.
SIR MARMADUKEStill it can hardly be necessary to assure you that
SIR MARMADUKEany wife of yours is a mother of mine.
(Aside to Aline) It is
SIR MARMADUKEnot quite what I could have wished.
P(crossing to Alexis) Oh, sir, I entreat your
Pforgiveness.
PI am aware that socially I am not everything that
Pcould be desired, nor am I blessed with an abundance of worldly
Pgoods, but I can at least confer on your estimable father the
Pgreat and priceless dowry of a true, tender, and lovin' 'art!
PALEXIS (coldly) I do not question it.
PAfter all, a
Pfaithful love is the true source of every earthly joy.
SIR MARMADUKEI knew that my boy would not blame his poor father
SIR MARMADUKEfor acting on the impulse of a heart that has never yet misled
SIR MARMADUKEhim.
SIR MARMADUKEZorah is not perhaps what the world calls beautiful—
DStill she is comely—distinctly comely.
Sighs
DALINE Zorah is very good, and very clean, and honest, and
Dquite, quite sober in her habits:
Dand that is worth far more than
Dbeauty, dear Sir Marmaduke.
DYes; beauty will fade and perish, but personal
Dcleanliness is practically undying, for it can be renewed
Dwhenever it discovers symptoms of decay.
DMy dear Sir Marmaduke,
DI heartily congratulate you.
Sighs
QUINTETTEALEXIS, ALINE, SIR MARMADUKE, ZORAH, and DR.
ALEXISI rejoice that it's decided,
ALEXISHappy now will be his life,
ALEXISFor my father is provided
ALEXISWith a true and tender wife.
ALEXISShe will tend him, nurse him, mend him,
ALEXISAir his linen, dry his tears;
ALEXISBless the thoughtful fate that send him
ALEXISSuch a wife to soothe his years!
ALINENo young giddy thoughtless maiden,
ALINEFull of graces, airs, and jeers—
ALINEBut a sober widow, laden
ALINEWith the weight of fifty years!
SIR MARMADUKENo high-born exacting beauty
SIR MARMADUKEBlazing like a jewelled sun—
SIR MARMADUKEBut a wife who'll do her duty,
SIR MARMADUKEAs that duty should be done!
PI'm no saucy minx and giddy—
PHussies such as them abound—
PBut a clean and tidy widdy
PWell be-known for miles around!
DAll the village now have mated,
DAll are happy as can be—
DI to live alone am fated:
DNo one's left to marry me!
ENSEMBLEShe will tend him etc.
(Exeunt Sir Marmaduke, Mrs.
ENSEMBLEPartlet, and Aline, with Alexis.
ENSEMBLEDr.
looks after them sentimentally, then exits with a sigh)
Enter Mr.
WELLSOh, I have wrought much evil with my spells!
WELLSAnd ill I can't undo!
WELLSThis is too bad of you, J.
WWells—
WWhat wrong have they done you?
WAnd see—another love-lorn lady comes—
WAlas, poor stricken dame!
WA gentle pensiveness her life benumbs—
WAnd mine, alone, the blame!
Lady Sangazure enters.
WShe is very melancholy
LADY S.Alas, ah me! and well-a-day!
I sigh for love, and well I may,
LADY S.For I am very old and grey.
LADY S.But stay!
LADY S.(Sees Mr.
LADY S.Wells, and becomes fascinated by him)
LADY S.What is this fairy form I see before me?
WOh horrible!—She's going to adore me!
WThis last catastrophe is overpowering!
LADY S.Why do you glare at one with visage lowering?
LADY S.For pity's sake recoil not thus from me!
WMy lady leave me—this may never be!
WDUET—LADY SANGAZURE and MR.
WHate me! I drop my H's—have through life!
LADY S.Love me! I'll drop them too!
WHate me! I always eat peas with a knife!
LADY S.Love me! I'll eat like you!
WHate me! I spend the day at Rosherville!
LADY S.Love me! that joy I'll share!
WHate me! I often roll down One Tree Hill!
LADY S.Love me! I'll join you there!
LADY S.Love me! My prejudices I will drop!
WHate me! that's not enough!
LADY S.Love me! I'll come and help you in the shop!
WHate me! the life is rough!
LADY S.Love me! my grammar I will all forswear!
WHate me! abjure my lot!
LADY S.Love me! I'll stick sunflowers in my hair!
WHate me! they'll suit you not!
WELLSAt what I am going to say be not enraged—
WELLSI may not love you—for I am engaged!
LADY S.(horrified) Engaged!
WEngaged!
WTo a maiden fair,
WWith bright brown hair,
WAnd a sweet and simple smile,
WWho waits for me
WBy the sounding sea,
WOn a South Pacific isle.
W(aside) A lie! No maiden waits me there!
LADY S.(mournfully) She has bright brown hair;
W(aside) A lie! No maiden smiles on me!
LADY S.(mournfully) By the sounding sea!
SYSTEMLADY SANGAZURE MR.
WOh agony, rage, despair! Oh, agony, rage,
Wdespair!
WThe maiden has bright brown hair, Oh, where will this
Wend—oh, where?
WAnd mine is as white as snow! I should like very much
Wto know!
WFalse man, it will be your fault, It will certainly be my
Wfault,
WIf I go to my family vault, If she goes to her family
Wvault,
WAnd bury my life-long woe! To bury her life-long
Wwoe!
BOTHThe family vault—the family vault.
BOTHIt will certainly be (your/my) fault.
BOTHIf (I go/she goes) to (my/her) family vault,
BOTHTo bury (my/her) life-long woe!
(Exit Lady Sangazure, in great anguish, accompanied by Mr.
BOTHWells)
Enter Aline, Recitative
BOTHAlexis! Doubt me not, my loved one! See,
BOTHThine uttered will is sovereign law to me!
BOTHAll fear—all thought of ill I cast away!
BOTHIt is may darling's will, and I obey!
BOTH(She drinks the
BOTHphiltre)
BOTHThe fearful deed is done,
BOTHMy love is near!
BOTHI go to meet my own
BOTHIn trembling fear!
BOTHIf o'er us aught of ill
BOTHShould cast a shade,
BOTHIt was my darling's will,
BOTHAnd I obeyed!
BOTH(As Aline is going off, she meets Dr.
Daly, entering pensively.
BOTHHe
BOTHis playing on a flageolet.
BOTHUnder the influence of the spell she
BOTHat once becomes strangely fascinated by him, and exhibits every
BOTHsymptom of being hopelessly in love with him)
DR. DALYOh, my voice is sad and low
DR. DALYAnd with timid step I go—
DR. DALYFor with load of love o'er laden
DR. DALYI enquire of every maiden,
DR. DALY"Will you wed me, little lady?
DR. DALYWill you share my cottage shady?"
DR. DALYLittle lady answers "No!
DR. DALYThank you for your kindly proffer—
DR. DALYGood your heart, and full your coffer;
DR. DALYYet I must decline your offer—
DR. DALYI'm engaged to So-and-so!"
DR. DALYSo-and-so!
DR. DALYSo-and-so! (flageolet solo)
DR. DALYShe's engaged to So-and-so!
DR. DALYWhat a rogue young hearts to pillage;
DR. DALYWhat a worker on Love's tillage!
DR. DALYEvery maiden in the village
DR. DALYIs engage to So-and-so!
DR. DALYSo-and-so!
DR. DALYSo-and-so! (flageolet solo)
DR. DALYAll engaged to So-and-so!
DR. DALY(At the end of the song Dr.
DR. DALYDaly sees Aline, and, under the
influence of the potion, falls in love with her)
DR. DALYENSEMBLE—ALINE and DR.
DR. DALYOh, joyous boon! oh, mad delight;
DR. DALYOh, sun and moon! oh, day and night!
DR. DALYRejoice, rejoice with me!
DR. DALYProclaim our joy, ye birds above—
DR. DALYYet brooklets, murmur forth our love,
DR. DALYIn choral ecstasy:
ALINEOh, joyous boon!
DOh, mad delight!
ALINEOh, sun and moon!
DOh, day and night!
BOTHYe birds, and brooks, and fruitful trees,
BOTHWith choral joy, delight the breeze—
BOTHRejoice, rejoice with me!
Enter Alexis
BOTHALEXIS (with rapture).
BOTHAline my only love, my happiness!
BOTHThe philtre—you have tasted it?
BOTHALINE (with confusion).
BOTHYes! Yes!
BOTHALEXIS Oh, joy, mine, mine for ever, and for aye!
Embraces her
BOTHALINE Alexis, don't do that—you must not!
BOTH(Dr.
BOTHDaly interposes between them)
BOTHALEXIS (amazed).
BOTHWhy?
BOTHDUET—ALINE and DR.
ALINEAlas! that lovers thus should meet:
ALINEOh, pity, pity me!
ALINEOh, charge me not with cold deceit;
ALINEOh, pity, pity me!
ALINEYou bade me drink—with trembling awe
ALINEI drank, and, by the potion's law,
ALINEI loved the very first I saw!
ALINEOh, pity, pity, me!
DMy dear young friend, consoled be—
DWe pity, pity you.
DIn this I'm not an agent free—
DWe pity, pity you.
DSome most extraordinary spell
DO'er us has cast its magic fell—
DThe consequence I need not tell.
DWe pity, pit you.
ENSEMBLESome most extraordinary spell
ENSEMBLEO'er (us/them) has cast its magic fell—
ENSEMBLEThe consequence (we/they) need not tell.
ENSEMBLE(We/They) pity, pity (thee!/me).
ENSEMBLEALEXIS (furiously) False one, begone—I spurn thee,
ENSEMBLETo thy new lover turn thee!
ENSEMBLEThy perfidy all men shall know,
ALINE(wildly) I could not help it!
ALINEALEXIS (calling off) Come one, come all!
DWe could not help it!
DALEXIS (calling off) Obey my call!
DALINE (wildly) I could not help it!
DALEXIS (calling off) Come hither, run!
DWe could not help it!
DALEXIS (calling off) Come, every one!
Enter all the characters except Lady Sangazure and Mr.
CHORUSOh, what is the matter, and what is the clatter?
CHORUSHe's glowering at her, and threatens a blow!
CHORUSOh, why does he batter the girl he did flatter?
CHORUSAnd why does the latter recoil from him so?
ALEXISPrepare for sad surprises—
ALEXISMy love Aline despises!
ALEXISNo thought of sorrow shames her—
ALEXISAnother lover claims her!
ALEXISBe his, false girl, for better or for worse—
But, ere you leave me, may a lover's curse—
D(coming forward) Hold! Be just.
DThis poor child
Ddrank the philtre at your instance.
DShe hurried off to meet
Dyou—but, most unhappily, she met me instead.
DAs you had
Dadministered the potion to both of us, the result was inevitable.
DBut fear nothing from me—I will be no man's rival.
DI shall quit
Dthe country at once—and bury my sorrow in the congenial gloom of
Da Colonial Bishopric.
DALEXIS My excellent old friend! (Taking his hand—then
turning to Mr.
DWells, who has entered with Lady Sangazure) Oh,
DMr.
DWells, what, what is to be done?
DWELLS I do not know—and yet—there is one means by which
Dthis spell may be removed.
DALEXIS Name it—oh, name it!
DWELLS Or you or I must yield up his life to Ahrimanes.
Iwould rather it were you.
II should have no hesitation in
Isacrificing my own life to spare yours, but we take stock next
Iweek, and it would not be fair on the Co.
IALEXIS True.
IWell, I am ready!
IALINE No, no—Alexis—it must not be! Mr.
IWells, if he
Imust die that all may be restored to their old loves, what is to
Ibecome of me? I should be left out in the cold, with no love to
Ibe restored to!
IWELLS True—I did not think of that.
I(To the others) My
friends, I appeal to you, and I will leave the decision in your
Ihands.
WOr I or he
WMust die!
WWhich shall it be?
WReply!
SIR MARMADUKEDie thou!
SIR MARMADUKEThou art the cause of all offending!
DDie thou!
DYield to this decree unbending!
ALLDie thou!
WSo be it! I submit! My fate is sealed.
WTo public execration thus I yield!
Falls on trap
Be happy all—leave me to my despair—
WI go—it matters not with whom—or where!
Gong
W(All quit their present partners, and rejoin their old lovers.
Sir Marmaduke leaves Mrs.
WPartlet, and goes to Lady Sangazure.
leaves Dr.
ALINEDaly, and goes to Alexis.
ALINEDr.
Daly leaves Aline, and
ALINEgoes
ALINEto Constance.
Notary leaves Constance, and goes to Mrs.
MRS. PARTLETAll
MRS. PARTLETthe Chorus makes a corresponding change)
GENTLEMENOh, my adored one!
LADIESUnmingled joy!
GENTLEMENEcstatic rapture!
LADIESBeloved boy!
They embrace
SIR MARMADUKECome to my mansion, all of you! At least
SIR MARMADUKEWe'll crown our rapture with another feast!
ENSEMBLESIR MARMADUKE, LADY SANGAZURE, ALEXIS, and ALINE
ENSEMBLENow to the banquet we press—
ENSEMBLENow for the eggs and the ham—
ENSEMBLENow for the mustard and cress—
ENSEMBLENow for the strawberry jam!
ENSEMBLECHORUS Now to the banquet, etc.
DRDALY, CONSTANCE, NOTARY, and MRS.
MRS. PARTLETNow for the tea of our host—
MRS. PARTLETNow for the rollicking bun—
MRS. PARTLETNow for the muffin and toast—
MRS. PARTLETNow for the gay Sally Lunn!
CHORUSNow for the tea, etc.
General Dance
CHORUS(During the symphony Mr.
CHORUSWells sinks through the trap, amid red
CHORUSfire)